A wise person once said, Intimacy is not always physical.
It is the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see
into their soul. When it comes to two people and their emotional turmoil, they
are put in the position to make sacrifices. Typically, out of their control. In
the short story “Maladies” ,by Jhumpa Lahiri, Kapasi was faced with an
imaginative fantasy of a relationship, while Mrs.Das was faced with a religious
one. In “Children of the Sea” by Edwidge Danticat, the two lovers are writing
to one another. They know their letters will never be sent or received however
their commitment and connection is much more powerful. This is also shown in the song, "We don’t
have to take out clothes off", popularly known by Ella Eyre but written by
Jermaine Stewart, because the song involves a connection beyond the idea of
sex. Their sacrifice of letting go, in
addition to letting go from society's expectations when it comes to
relationships, derives from the theme of Intimacy. Physical intimacy is one
thing, but forming a connection from eye contact, from listening and being
heard, is vital when one is soul
searching.
In
the short story " Interpreter of Maladies", Kapasi and Mrs. Das long
for the idea of freedom and forgiveness. By making their fantasy a reality, a
bond between the two of them grows intimately. Both Mrs. Das and Kapasi share emotional turmoil
in common. However, Mrs. Das' turmoil is masked by her indifference whereas
Kapasi's is masked by his position in life. Which is interpreting and helping
others when he could not help his wife. Throughout the story, Kapasi is considered a
failure. He was self educated and a devoted scholar of foreign languages. He
wanted to be an interpreter for diplomats and resolve conflicts between people
and nations. However under circumstances with his son being ill, he became an
acquaintance to a doctor. According to his wife, he became a "doctors assistant" because he had the potential to do so much
more. "Mr. Kapasi knew that his wife had little regard for his career as
an interpreter. He knew it reminded her of her of the son she'd lost and that
she resented the other lives he helped."(Lahiri 19). As an escape beyond
his control, he becomes a fantasist. He dreams about the possibility of
something deep when he meets Mrs.Das. He becomes intimate minus the physical part.
"But Mrs. Das was different. Unlike the other women…Mrs. Das had taken an
interest in him."(22). Kapasi goes on ,comparing his wife to Mrs.Das.
"He never admired the back of his wife's legs the way he now admired those
of Mrs.Das, walking as if for his benefit alone."(22). The key word is
admired. He was admiring her from afar without letting her know his thoughts.
In his eyes, he craves the old saying "In to me ,you see" , the idea
of forming a connection. In a sense where they know ones hopes, dreams, goals and
imperfections and will love them regardless. The title itself is the main idea
of the story. The secret Mrs.Das is carrying is the malady. Kapasi was hoping
to share a romantic intimacy with Mrs.Das while she wanted something completely
opposite.
"I look up at the sky and I see you there. I see you
crying like a crushed snail, the way you cried when I helped you pull out your
first loose tooth.Yes,I did love you then." (Danticat,3). In the short story, "Children of the
Sea", Intimacy is certainly not about proximity. After being separated due
to circumstances out of their control, Two
lovers write to one another. They both know their letters will not be sent or
received. "They say I have to throw my notebook out. I know you will
probably never see this, but it was nice imagining that I had you here to talk
to."(27). The key word is imagining. The male narrator of the story
reminisces about a certain memory. He
envisions a connection between him and his lover, formed in the course of intimacy.
"When I got on bored I thought I could still smell the semen and the
innocence lost to those sheets. I look up there and I think of you and all
those times you resisted. Sometimes I felt like you wanted to, but I knew you
wanted me to respect you. All I wanted was to be near you."(4). All he
wanted was to be close to her and give her the respect she deserves. When you
love someone , you want what's best for them. Along the same lines, he says
"Your father will probably marry you off now, since I am gone. Whatever
you do, please don’t marry a soldier. They're almost not human."(4). He
wants what's best for her because he cares deeply for her soul and well being. The commitment these two
lovers share is beyond the realms of physical intimacy. "Maybe the sea is
endless, like my love for you."(15).
Ella Eyre, singer/songwriter is
known for her cover ,"We Don’t Have to Take Our clothes off", by
original artist Jermaine Stewart. "The night is young, so are we. Let's get to know each other
better, slow & easily. Take my hand, let's hit the floor. Shake our bodies
to the music." The song is
generally about not rushing into sex or anything physical. "So come on
baby, won't you show some class. Why you want to move so fast. We don't have to
take our clothes off to have a good time. We could
dance and party all night and drink some
cherry wine." An AIDS epidemic has been said to the reason for this song.. Jermaine was an advocate for sexual
abstinence but ironically dies of a sexually-transmitted disease. While his intentions with writing this was
to have fun with whoever, the
song translates the desire for a
traditional and conservative relationship. Specifically in other ways besides physical intimacy." Give me
conversation, good vibrations through and through. So
come on baby, won't you show some class. Why
you want to move so fast." He craves the intimacy. Not physically, more so
the act of connecting with someone so deeply he feels he can see into their
soul.
To have someone value and understand your mind is
a different form of intimacy. One who
does not understand you, will not know how to love because they do not know who
you are as person. In the end of" Interpreter of
Maladies", the paper Kapasi gave Mrs. Das becomes a symbol of a misinterpreted
connection between the two of them. It floats into the air, whipping into the
wind off into nothing. Non existence, similar to their non-existing
relationship . Mainly because Mrs.Das is married too. In "Children of the
Sea", Intimacy was kept private as the two lovers write to one another.
They were in the back of each other's mind constantly reminiscing about the
good times and memories. Overall, the characters from both stories engage in
intimacy from afar. Under the different circumstances they were put in , it did
not change the fact they desired to feel wanted, appreciated and noticed.
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